Monday, March 7, 2011

Funny thing happened at the RE's office...

I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a bit. Things have been crazy and I honestly expected to still be stimming like I was last cycle. But I'm not!! I triggered on Wed last week and did an IUI on Friday. I can't believe that I only had to stim for 11 days this cycle and I responded a lot better this time. In fact, I responded to the point where I have mild OHSS and I am in a fair amount of pain :( It sucks, but I am drinking my Gatorade and hoping for the best.

I did have a couple of interesting/funny things happen at my appointments that I have been meaning to share.

The practice I go to has 4 REs. Over the past year I have had all of them for at least one appointment. The REs do all of the monitoring and IUIs, so if my regular doc is out, I get whoever is available. I love my doctor, we'll call him Dr. Cof, because he always says 'come on follicles!'. There are 2 other male doctors who I like ok. They are pleasant enough. And then there is Dr. Lynch (I'll explain why I call her that in a moment).

Dr. Lynch may be bipolar, I'm not really sure. The first time I had her, she was really nice. She was doing my IUI and she introduced herself with confidence, explained that she had loads of experience and would take good care of me. Then she spent a good 10 minutes trying to get the speculum in my hoo-ha and apologizing for having such a hard time. The next time I had her for a monitoring appointment, she was a total b*tch. I don't know who shit in her Cheerios, but I assure you it wasn't me. She was short with Tim and snarky with me and I just wanted to get out of that exam room as quickly as possible.

This cycle, my RE was out of town for the first 9 or 10 days so I had to have Dr. Lynch do my monitoring. Now the odd thing about Dr. Lynch is that she doesn't look under the paper drape when she goes to put in the u/s probe. She just kind of jabs it in there and hopes that it ends up in the right place. I had a monitoring appointment on a Tuesday and she managed to blindly get the probe in with only minor difficulty. This particular brand of difficulty, I might add, generally results in some painful urination in the days to follow. I went back in 3 days later dreading my appointment with Dr. Lynch. Which Dr. Lynch would we get? Would she be nice, confident Dr. Lynch or would she be snarky b*tch Dr. Lynch?? Fortunately, we got the nice Dr. Lynch, UNFORTUNATELY, we got the blind, Dr. Lynch who has no grasp on female anatomy. So here I am, feet in stirrups, waiting for the dreaded dildo-cam. Dr. Lynch blindly jabs the probe in the general vicinity of my nether region only to land squarely on my perineum. Ok, I came here for an ultrasound, not to get my salad tossed lady, WTF are you doing? I tried to scoot my butt down to help guide her in the right direction, but NO, she keeps jabbing me and getting dangerously close to an opening which is clearly marked as exit only. I put my hand up and told her that she wasn't even close to the target. Her response "I didn't have any trouble doing this on Tuesday" UMMM OK? I'm pretty sure that my anatomy has not changed drastically in the last 3 days so don't look at me like your ineptitude is my fault. Shockingly, once she actually looked under the drape, she found her target pretty quickly.
So, for those of you who haven't caught on to why I call her Dr. Lynch, rent the movie Knocked Up, watch the scene where Jane Lynch plays an OB/Gyn-all will be clear. (I tried to find a clip for you, but no such luck)

At the risk of droning on too long,I'll share one more funny story from this cycle. Dr. Cof was back in time for my IUI (thank GOD). He is a funny, kinda dorky guy who is really personable and talks all the time while he's doing stuff which I love. Tim comes with me to all of my appointments and this one was no exception. We were waiting in the room when Dr. Cof came in and confirmed that the 'sample' that was going to be making a long trip down a warm path was indeed Tim's. Then Dr. Cof asked Tim if he could move the lamp that was next to my bed down towards my feet so that he could see. I made a comment like 'I'm thinking you might need that' and he said 'we call that war-zone medicine when we try to do procedures without proper lighting'.... I couldn't resist, it just came out... I said 'Down in the trenches huh?' Dr. Cof turned bright red and held his hands up, laughed loudly and said 'Let the record show, you took it THERE I didn't' LOL I<3 Dr. Cof! LOL

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