I had yet another monitoring appointment this morning (it was good news today, I'll add it to the bottom of this post). My appointments always start with the lab next door where I get my estrogen drawn. I see the same few people every time I'm in there and I'm a tough stick so they remember me. One of the ladies, lets call her Jodi, is usually fairly talkative and I've had her at least 4 times this cycle. Today, Jodi asked me how things were going and I told her ok, but so far I'm not responding to the meds and my doctor may be getting ready to give up hope. She proceeds to tell me that I need to 'relax' and 'don't stress' because if I'm stressed I won't get pregnant. Seriously??! I expect this crap from the uneducated public, but not from a trained 'medical professional'. I told her that I think that saying any stress causes infertility is crap, but I do agree that out of control stress can lead to problems with health and possibly fertility. She went on to tell me that studies have shown ANY stress can cause it which is why she tells all of the women who come in to relax. After that, I bit my tongue. I mean, this lady has a needle and she's going to poke me soon, I can't very well tell her that I think she's full of crap.
THEN, the continues to tell me that she has had 3 miscarriages. Apparently, Jodi has an insufficient cervix and she would get pregnant and make it to 13+ weeks before her body could no longer hold the baby. I can't even imagine the kind of pain and frustration and FEAR that would come with repeat losses like that. I told her how sorry I was and she told me that she did eventually go on to have 2 healthy daughters with the help of her doctor's treatments and strict orders. Now this is where I practically bled from biting my tongue. I wanted so badly to say 'so you had a problem, got treatment and were able to have healthy children, how is that different from me? Did anyone tell you to just relax and you would stop miscarrying?' I kept my mouth shut. It would be a very insensitive thing to say and I thought I should be the better person.
For those out there reading my blog who are not having trouble conceiving, PLEASE never tell a woman who is having trouble or dealing with infertility issues to 'just relax' or 'don't stress'. Just tell her that you hope for the best or that you will be praying for her. That is really all she wants and needs to hear.
Update on my cycle: I have follicles going!! I had 2 that have broken the 11 mm mark. One is 15 mm and the other is 13 mm. Yippee! I have to go back on Monday for another recheck and hopefully those follies will be at a trigger stage by then. Wish me luck! :)