I will be a happy woman.
1. "Don't drink the water"...(this is so overused I can't express it), it also comes in the fun variety of "If you want to get pregnant, you should try the water where I work"
2. "As soon as you stop thinking about it, you'll get pregnant so just stop thinking about it" Um, yeah, that's like telling someone not to think about breathing. This phrase also comes in the form of "you're trying too hard", "you should stop trying" and "you should look into adoption, then you'll get pregnant for sure"
3. "Having a baby is overrated, you should just enjoy being married"
4. "Since you don't have kids, you wouldn't understand..." Yeah, thanks for reminding me. This one comes in several forms too like "you'll understand when you have children" or "you think that is bad, just wait until you have kids"
5. I could also do without the constant "So, any news?" or "Anything new and exciting with you??" This is generally accompanied by raised eyebrows, flared nostrils and an expectant grimace which quickly turns to a frown when I say, "nope, how about you?"
6. "Really, (you're so lucky) my husband just has to look at me and I get pregnant"
For good measure, I'd like to throw in these gems:
"ugh, morning sickness sucks, you have no idea"
"I can't wait until this baby gets out of me" Generally followed by my back hurts, I want a drink, my feet hurt, I'm bloated, I'm tired... Yeah, well, I'm infertile, so I don't want to hear about it.
If you have ever uttered any of these phrases (and yup, I'm guilty of it too), please take a moment to reflect on the effect that they likely had and never use them again.